March 5, 2017, was the Memorial Service, with Interment on March 6, for Mrs. Caridad Fullon Gonzales, 89 year old mother of our long time Christian Friend, Marissa Gonzales Valdez. Dory and I were not able to attend, but Marissa asked me to write my thoughts on her mother's Obit Guestbook. Marissa wants her mom's passing to be a strong testimony of her faith in our Lord Jesus Christ - and a strong encouragement for those who do not currently have a relationship with Him, to take that eternal step today.
Marissa's thoughts, which all other Christian believers will concur, is that we never know when we will be faced with that last mortal breath - and eternal mortality. We may be in the best of health, when, just as happened with Caridad, an accident took her life. Strong one day, but with the next breath, in eternity. Yet, with Caridad, that eternity will be spent in the presence of God.
This past week, Marissa sent me this Facebook Message:
The funny thing is that I have known Marissa and her husband, Jun, for many years - but I did not know her mom that well since she came to America after Dory and I had moved to Riverside County. So I did not know what to write. But, after talking with Dory and after prayer, this is what I wrote and posted on her Obit site:
Then Marissa asked if I would post it on her Facebook page also. She wanted to use her mom's passing as a way to witness and share the Gospel with others in her family.
She wrote this Message to me on Facebook:
After I had honored her request, she wrote:
But, some may ask, "Bill, how do you know that Caridad was really a Christian believer?" That is a very good and valid question. Let me begin to answer it by sharing an excerpt from her obituary. Pastor Sam Lacanienta, who led Caridad to the Lord is the same Godly man who led me to the Lord in 1987, and whom I have since considered my spiritual mentor.
One of the greatest attributes of Pastor Sam is that he is not only diligent in pointing us toward the Lord - he is also very diligent in following up with his spiritual children and keeping us strong in the faith. I am sure that Pastor Sam never doubted Caridad's position as a child of God - and neither do I.
Yes, I believe with all my heart that today Nanay Caridad is with her loving husband, Amador, and their son, Raymund - and together they are joyfully in fellowship with our Lord Jesus Christ, never to be parted again.
As Dory told me - it is a blessing that Marissa asked me to participate in her effort to use her mom's passing as a means of sharing Jesus Christ with family members and friends who do not know Him yet. I am honored.
But, this is also very personal to me. When my mom passed away in 1994 - I knew that my step-father, Ralph, was going to have his cult pastor officiate at her service, a man who taught a theology of annihilation instead of eternal life - which is also what most atheists believe. I wanted to share the true Gospel of eternal life at her Memorial Service. But, I was afraid because I was a new Christian, still a babe in Christ myself, and I did not have the Biblical knowledge and courage to stand and speak. Yet, I knew beyond all doubt that my mother was saved and was already spending eternity in His presence.
How did I know for certain that my mom was a Christian believer? In 1993, because she was having health problems, my step-dad moved her from her life-long home in Alabama, to Arkansas to be with his daughter. That bothered me, but when, a couple of months later, they put her into a nursing home - I was very angry. That was when God spoke to my heart, "You wanted a way to help her be saved. This is it." So, instead of being angry, I called the nursing home and asked if there was a Baptist church nearby. And, praise God, I was told there was one right next door.
I called the pastor who told me they have a Bible study in the nursing home every week. He met my mom, gave her a Bible (which I still have today), and got her involved in the Bible study. A few months later he told me, "Bill, I led her in the Sinner's Prayer, but I am not sure she understood." I knew what he meant, for she had suffered several strokes and was not always thinking clearly. I assured him I understood and that was why I had not tried to do it over the telephone. I called her virtually every day. But, often when I would call, she would be irritated with me, "You haven't called me in two weeks!" And, I would laugh and tell her, "Oh, ma, I called you yesterday."
A couple of months later, she had another stroke and went into a coma, passing away three days later. We transported her back to our hometown in Alabama and, on Thursday, we had a viewing. Now this is where some Friends, maybe even some Christian Friends, might look at me kind of funny - but it truly happened.
Before the viewing was to begin, I wanted to be alone with mom. And, as I stood there by her casket, I heard a voice - a voice just as clear as any I have ever heard - and it said to me, "Don't worry. She is with Me now." Friends, this is ultra-conservative Bill Gray telling you this - and if someone else had told me such a story, I, too, would have smiled. But, it happened just that way. I had no doubt then, nor now, that was the Holy Spirit assuring me. As my Friend, Pastor Vince Arnoldo, told me when he called, "That was Blessed Assurance."
Yet, at my mom's Memorial Service, I let God and my mother down. I did not speak at her Memorial Service when I should have; I did not stand and tell folks that they also can have eternal life in Christ, if they will just believe and receive His free gift of salvation. And within the next year at least six people who were there died. I am not sure if they were believers or not. That is a burden I will long carry.
One of those people was my dear Aunt Ann. She was 80 years old, yet Dory and I smiled watching her at the viewing - for she was so full of life and energy you would have thought she was merely 50. Aunt Ann was killed just a month later in a car accident - and I don't know if she was a believer. That has been a burden to me since then. What if I had shared at mom's Memorial Service? Would Aunt Ann have made a decision for Christ? Or, was she already a believer? Now I will never know until I get to heaven.
This is why I am so happy to see my Christian sister and dear Friend, Marissa, using her mom's passing as a means of sharing the Gospel message of Jesus Christ with all who knew her mom, Nanay Caridad Fullon Gonzales.
When I first wondered what to write in Nanay Caridad Fullon Gonzales' Obit Guestbook, Dory told me, "Just pray about it and God will give you the words to use." I sure did marry a smart young girl.
God bless, have a wonderful, blessed day,
Bill
Marissa's thoughts, which all other Christian believers will concur, is that we never know when we will be faced with that last mortal breath - and eternal mortality. We may be in the best of health, when, just as happened with Caridad, an accident took her life. Strong one day, but with the next breath, in eternity. Yet, with Caridad, that eternity will be spent in the presence of God.
This past week, Marissa sent me this Facebook Message:
Bill, please go to mama's tribute on my Facebook wall. There's a Forest Lawn Tribute link where you can find the photo collage and obituary where you can write something about her and share with her friends and relatives also, thanks
The funny thing is that I have known Marissa and her husband, Jun, for many years - but I did not know her mom that well since she came to America after Dory and I had moved to Riverside County. So I did not know what to write. But, after talking with Dory and after prayer, this is what I wrote and posted on her Obit site:
Marissa, Jun, and Scott, Dory and I want to extend our condolences on the temporal loss of your beautiful mother and grandmother, Caridad. And we join you in celebrating her life and her promotion into the presence of our Lord Jesus Christ.
When this happens in a Christian family, I am reminded of what Pastor Sam Lacanienta always tells us at memorial services, "Caridad is a Christian believer and has gone home to be with her Lord. If you are also a believer, you will not say, 'Goodbye.' Instead you will say, 'Goodnight, I will see you on that glorious resurrection morn.' However, if you are not a believer, you must say, 'Goodbye' to Caridad today."
That thought was a comfort to me and my family when my mother was promoted to heaven on February 22, 1994. And considering the many years we have worshiped and served the Lord together with your family, I know it is a comfort to you, also.
It is normal that you have a brief period of mourning - for you will miss her presence in your daily lives. But I know that at the same time, you are celebrating her promotion to heaven - knowing that she is with your dad and they are both joyfully in fellowship with our Lord Jesus Christ.
As believers, we have His promise that we will be reunited with our believing loved ones and friends. So I know that you are anticipating the wonderful Gonzales Valdez Family Reunion in heaven one day, with Jesus Christ as your Host. May you find peace in your blessed memories - until you are all reunited again one day, eternally. God bless, Bill & Dory
Then Marissa asked if I would post it on her Facebook page also. She wanted to use her mom's passing as a way to witness and share the Gospel with others in her family.
She wrote this Message to me on Facebook:
Thanks Bill! I hope your message will touch some folks who knew my mom and that they too will come to the saving knowledge of our Savior Jesus Christ. Will it be too much to ask if you can copy and paste it to my Facebook wall where the tribute is posted? I would like as many people to know and understand what it means to believe in Jesus as my mom did. Thanks again Bill...
After I had honored her request, she wrote:
Many many thanks Bill! My mom's death is not in vain. My aunt prayed to accept Christ at mom's death bed when Pastor Fernando asked her the question, "If anything unexpected like what happened to Nanay Caridad should happen to you - do you know where you will be going?"
But, some may ask, "Bill, how do you know that Caridad was really a Christian believer?" That is a very good and valid question. Let me begin to answer it by sharing an excerpt from her obituary. Pastor Sam Lacanienta, who led Caridad to the Lord is the same Godly man who led me to the Lord in 1987, and whom I have since considered my spiritual mentor.
One of the greatest attributes of Pastor Sam is that he is not only diligent in pointing us toward the Lord - he is also very diligent in following up with his spiritual children and keeping us strong in the faith. I am sure that Pastor Sam never doubted Caridad's position as a child of God - and neither do I.
From Caridad Fullon Gonzales' Obituary:
When she first arrived from the Philippines, as always she enjoyed having friends and relatives over. One of the visitors was Pastor Sam who came one afternoon. They talked about the Philippines and life in the U.S. During their conversation, Pastor Sam asked her if she knew where she was going if anything should happen to her at any time.
She pondered upon that question and was not sure, so Pastor Sam showed her in the Bible that she can be sure to go to heaven if she dies that night. She then prayed the sinner's prayer and was assured of eternal life over 20 years ago. This is the comfort we have knowing that she is in the loving arms and bosom of her Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
She lived a full life, helped many and raised her children and helped raise her grandchildren well. Her passing was unexpected, she (had) just arrived from burying her second son, Raymund, who died last January. She was very happy to be back so she can continue to help and love her family in the States. God spared her from any prolonged or lingering illness or incapacity, so even if we grieve and miss her so much, God did the best for her in all His wisdom and love.
Her favorite verse in the Bible is Philippians 1:21 ~ "For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain." Because death is losing all our earthly comforts and all our hopes in this life. But to a true believer, it is gain, for it is the end of all our weaknesses and misery and (we) claim our reward - eternal life of bliss in the loving arms of Jesus.
Yes, I believe with all my heart that today Nanay Caridad is with her loving husband, Amador, and their son, Raymund - and together they are joyfully in fellowship with our Lord Jesus Christ, never to be parted again.
As Dory told me - it is a blessing that Marissa asked me to participate in her effort to use her mom's passing as a means of sharing Jesus Christ with family members and friends who do not know Him yet. I am honored.
But, this is also very personal to me. When my mom passed away in 1994 - I knew that my step-father, Ralph, was going to have his cult pastor officiate at her service, a man who taught a theology of annihilation instead of eternal life - which is also what most atheists believe. I wanted to share the true Gospel of eternal life at her Memorial Service. But, I was afraid because I was a new Christian, still a babe in Christ myself, and I did not have the Biblical knowledge and courage to stand and speak. Yet, I knew beyond all doubt that my mother was saved and was already spending eternity in His presence.
How did I know for certain that my mom was a Christian believer? In 1993, because she was having health problems, my step-dad moved her from her life-long home in Alabama, to Arkansas to be with his daughter. That bothered me, but when, a couple of months later, they put her into a nursing home - I was very angry. That was when God spoke to my heart, "You wanted a way to help her be saved. This is it." So, instead of being angry, I called the nursing home and asked if there was a Baptist church nearby. And, praise God, I was told there was one right next door.
I called the pastor who told me they have a Bible study in the nursing home every week. He met my mom, gave her a Bible (which I still have today), and got her involved in the Bible study. A few months later he told me, "Bill, I led her in the Sinner's Prayer, but I am not sure she understood." I knew what he meant, for she had suffered several strokes and was not always thinking clearly. I assured him I understood and that was why I had not tried to do it over the telephone. I called her virtually every day. But, often when I would call, she would be irritated with me, "You haven't called me in two weeks!" And, I would laugh and tell her, "Oh, ma, I called you yesterday."
A couple of months later, she had another stroke and went into a coma, passing away three days later. We transported her back to our hometown in Alabama and, on Thursday, we had a viewing. Now this is where some Friends, maybe even some Christian Friends, might look at me kind of funny - but it truly happened.
Before the viewing was to begin, I wanted to be alone with mom. And, as I stood there by her casket, I heard a voice - a voice just as clear as any I have ever heard - and it said to me, "Don't worry. She is with Me now." Friends, this is ultra-conservative Bill Gray telling you this - and if someone else had told me such a story, I, too, would have smiled. But, it happened just that way. I had no doubt then, nor now, that was the Holy Spirit assuring me. As my Friend, Pastor Vince Arnoldo, told me when he called, "That was Blessed Assurance."
Yet, at my mom's Memorial Service, I let God and my mother down. I did not speak at her Memorial Service when I should have; I did not stand and tell folks that they also can have eternal life in Christ, if they will just believe and receive His free gift of salvation. And within the next year at least six people who were there died. I am not sure if they were believers or not. That is a burden I will long carry.
One of those people was my dear Aunt Ann. She was 80 years old, yet Dory and I smiled watching her at the viewing - for she was so full of life and energy you would have thought she was merely 50. Aunt Ann was killed just a month later in a car accident - and I don't know if she was a believer. That has been a burden to me since then. What if I had shared at mom's Memorial Service? Would Aunt Ann have made a decision for Christ? Or, was she already a believer? Now I will never know until I get to heaven.
This is why I am so happy to see my Christian sister and dear Friend, Marissa, using her mom's passing as a means of sharing the Gospel message of Jesus Christ with all who knew her mom, Nanay Caridad Fullon Gonzales.
When I first wondered what to write in Nanay Caridad Fullon Gonzales' Obit Guestbook, Dory told me, "Just pray about it and God will give you the words to use." I sure did marry a smart young girl.
God bless, have a wonderful, blessed day,
Bill
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