Recently my nephew, Brad Gray, raised a two part question on a very sensitive subject, "Why do people commit suicide?" and "How do we help them?"
In my 37 years as a Christian believer I have discovered that the vast majority of pastors and church elders avoid that question like a plague. And even with those who hear the question, most will dance around it, but never give a direct answer.
I vividly recall almost 20 years ago while listening to Pastor
Chuck Smith on the KWVE Christian Radio talk show "Pastors
Perspective" - a lady called in and asked him, "What happens
to a believer who commits suicide?"
Pastor Chuck danced
around the question - but never gave the lady a direct answer.
Over the years I have heard Pastor Chuck address virtually every
issue with a straight answer. But not that day. Why is that?
Let's talk about the issue of suicide.
I cannot blame them, for
that question is a two edge sword:
If Pastor Chuck had told her the truth, that the Bible assures
us that a believers cannot lose our salvation, even if he commits
suicide - the person may take that as permission to take his own
life.
On the other hand, if Pastor Chuck had told her that the person
committing suicide will be lost and go to hell - he would be lying
to her, he would be deceiving her and denying the promises of Jesus Christ in the Bible. :So what to do? The easy way
is to avoid the question at all costs. And that is what most spiritual leaders do.
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Brad Gray posted on Nov 13, 2024:
Heavy on my heart, so here goes! . . . . This is a
real problem. Twenty-two (22) Veterans each day surrender to
their demons. And its not just a Vet issue. May I please get two
friends or family members (out of all my Friends) to
share this post? Someone’s life may depend upon it.
#SuicideAwareness - CALL: 988
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And I respond to Brad's post:
Hi Brad Gray, That is a subject which has been on my heart for many, many years, since I was saved 37 years ago. Not that I feared it for myself, but because it goes to the heart of the Gospel question: "If a person is a true believer and takes his/her own life - do they lose their eternal salvation?"
About 35 years ago I was in a Bible study and a young lady I did not know from our regular group was there. I am not sure if she knew of our study and came alone, or if she came with someone.
But as we were preparing to start our study and still chatting, she asked a question which seemed to weigh heavy on her heart, "If a person commits suicide, is that person lost forever?" The way she asked that question, I had a strong sense that the question was not for herself, but that she had recently lost a friend or loved one to suicide.
One of our college age members told her, "1 Corinthians 6:19 tells us, 'Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own?' " And the rest of his comment I cannot remember accurately, but it was something like, "That person was not killing only himself/herself, but was destroying a temple of God, and is lost."
Shortly after that the lady left and never came back. I often wondered about her and the burden she obviously shared and wanted help in understanding. And I felt that we as a Christian group - had let her down. Possibly a member of our group reached out to her, maybe the person who brought her - but I do not know what became of the lady. And that was a failure on the shoulders of our Bible study group.
That young college student in our church went on to become a pastor in later years - and I have not found a time, or place, to discuss his response to the distraught young lady. I will say that he has become a very good pastor.
Over the years I have considered her question. And I have found that is it a question which most pastors and Bible study leaders would rather avoid. Yet in going to the Bible we do find a positive answer. I do understand a pastors' hesitance to give an answer. If he tells the person, "Yes, that person is lost" that obviously adds to the burden of the person asking the question.
If he says, "No, the moment a person believes and receives Christ as Lord and Savior, that person has His immutable assurance that he/she will NEVER lose their salvation, but has eternal life." That would be the correct Biblical answer.
But I recognize the burden of the pastor in giving that answer directly. He has to wonder if the person asking the question will take his answer as permission to commit suicide? Or if the person is truly concerned about a friend or loved one. If the former, that is a question which can come back to haunt a pastor. So most avoid it.
As a believer for 37 years, I have heard only one man of God who spoke the Biblical truth on that subject, the late Dr. Harold Sala, in one of his 5 Minute Devotionals which he shared on the radio and in person, around the world. Dr. Sala assured people of God's love and promise of eternal life - but also assured people that even when you feel that all is lost - God will still provide a way out of any of your problems - if you will let Him.
These Bible verses/passages are God's absolute, immutable promises that a child of God, no matter how big your problem, no matter if a person who has believed attempts to walk away from God like the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11–32) - God is always beside him/her and within, aka, indwelling, that person. And God, like the loving father in Luke 15, will always welcome the wayward son/daughter home:
John 3:14-15, "And just as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, so must the Son of Man be lifted up - so that everyone who believes will HAVE eternal life in Him." John 3:16, "For God so loved the world, that He gave His only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish, but HAVE eternal life."
John 6:40, “For this is the will of My Father, that everyone who sees the Son and believes in Him will HAVE eternal life, and I Myself will raise him up on the last day.” 1 John 5:13, "These things I have written to you who believe in the name of the Son of God, so that you may know that you HAVE eternal life."
And the following passage is God's promise that NO ONE, not even the believer himself/herself, can snatch a believer from the hands of God:
John 10:27-28, "My sheep listen to My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me; (28) and I give them ETERNAL LIFE, and they will never perish; and NO ONE will snatch them out of My hand. (29) My Father, who has given them to Me, is greater than all; and NO ONE is able to snatch them out of the Father's hand."
Over the years I have waited for some pastor to present the
subject of suicide in a straightforward Biblical way. I always
had great respect for Pastor Chuck Smith, but that one time I was
disappointed in him.
When he was on the KWVE Christian Radio talk
show "Pastors' Perspective" and the lady called in asking if a
person who commits suicide is lost. That is one time I heard
Pastor Chuck dance around a question without really giving a
Biblical answer. I understand why he did, but I was still
disappointed.
The one man who did not disappoint me was Dr. Harold Sala of
Guidelines International. The following is the answer he gave in
a 2016 Guidelines 5-Minute Commentary.
I share his
5-Minute Commentary in full so that you may see that Dr. Sala was
speaking Biblically when he shared that the person will not
lose his/her salvation - and yet Dr. Sala shares Biblically that
this person will still have to stand face-to-face with God, Jesus
Christ, and give answer from his failure to believe in God's
healing love:
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WHAT DOES GOD THINK OF SUICIDE?
Dr. Harold Sala, Guidelines International Ministry
Series: Guidelines For Living - Date: June 23, 2016
https://www.guidelines.org/sermons/god-think-suicide/
"And just as it is appointed for man to die once, and after
that comes judgment" (Hebrews 9:27).
As (a) police chaplain,
Dick Johnson is often called to assist families when someone takes
his or her life.
Johnson tells how he was summoned to help
following a suicide-homicide. As he walked into the home where
the tragedy had taken place, the body of a young woman lay on a
sofa, an unopened Bible on a table only a few inches away.
Johnson said, "What a tragedy! There the Bible was laying on
the table, with all the answers you would ever need."
For the person who takes his life, suicide has become an apparent
solution to a situation that he or she believes is absolutely
unbearable. It is the ultimate and final act of despair. To
those who must pick up the pieces of shattered hopes and dreams,
that act is a great tragedy.
There is one more viewpoint, however, which must be considered.
How does God view the taking of a life? That question, obviously,
must be considered because the taking of a life brings an
individual into direct confrontation with God and a person's
eternal destiny.
If there is no God, then that question isn't important. But if
God stands on the other side of the threshold of death, you need
to face that question: "How does God view suicide?"
The Bible mentions eight individuals who committed suicide, with
Judas being the most notable in the New Testament, and King Saul,
who fell on his own sword in disgrace, being the most notable in
the Old Testament.
Christianity and Judaism have uniformly condemned suicide,
pronouncing it self-murder. Roman Catholicism historically has
viewed suicide as a serious sin which sends a person to hell.
Protestants, however, generally view it as a sin for which a
Christian must give account but not one which keeps him or her
out of heaven.
But how does God view suicide? That's the real question. What
I'm about to say is conjecture, but I think that God would meet
someone at the door of heaven and say something like this.
"Son, daughter, I wasn't expecting you just yet. It's not your
time. Remember, I said in My Word, ‘It's appointed once to
die,’ and this wasn't your time. I had planned so much more
for you, things for you to do, things to enjoy, things to
experience. I so badly wanted to help you, to show you a way
out of your difficulty; but you wouldn't turn to Me, you
wouldn't give Me a chance. You gave up on Me before I could
lead you out. You didn't understand that with Me there is never
a situation which is beyond My grasp."
I think God would add, "I'm saddened because of what happened.
I'm also grieved because of the pain your death has caused to
your family and friends. Oh, you didn't know there were so many
people who cared, people who would grieve your death?"
"What you did was wrong - there's no justification for it.
The taking of a life, even your own life, is My right, not
yours. But I sent My Son who died for the sins of the world -
even for the sins of My children who believed on My Son."
Would God slam the door of His heaven to a believer who takes his
or her life? Personally I don't think so. There is a
better way: trusting God to meet you at the point of your pain and
show you (a way) out of your difficulty. That plan is found in the pages
of His Word, the Bible. Don't leave it laying on the table. Read
it today. Resource reading: Psalm 34
The excerpt below is from another resource on this subject from Dr. Sala:
SUICIDE – THE CRY OF THE DESPERATE
Dr. Harold J. Sala - Guidelines International Ministry
Series: Guidelines For Living - June 20, 2016
https://www.guidelines.org/sermons/suicide-cry-desperate/
"Dear Dr. Sala,” begins a letter from a very discouraged friend of Guidelines, who neither gave his full name nor an address. Jason tells about a broken home and the heartache he has experienced as his dreams and hopes fell apart. He says, “Many times before I left, I cried to God and begged him to save my marriage. What happened? Where was He? Why didn’t he knock some sense into us?”
He described his ordeal as a long valley through which he was walking and then, thinking about taking his life, asked, “How long are valleys supposed to last? Would you address the subject of suicide?”
For many today like Jason, suicide seems to be the trap door that delivers you from the dark valley of depression and difficulty, but is it really?
Is suicide a problem-solving technique that puts an end to a bad marriage, or to suffering, or loneliness - or is it only the means of inflicting greater suffering on those who are part of the network of our lives – people we often don’t think really care, but who may care, far more than we know? . . . .
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Can I, Bill Gray, understand the desperation of a person who has reached bottom and finds it hard to see an open door or window anywhere? Absolutely! Let me tell you about my times in the valley of darkness which I tread several times, as a believer.
I began my computer career in August 1958, fresh out of the Air Force. Over the next almost 50 years I had great successes, as a Computer Field Engineer, as a Computer Sales/Marketing Engineer, even rising to the position of Director of Sales for a California computer company.
But after about 40 years, I began to see the computer industry beginning to change, drastically. In the days of the expensive computers used in business, science, research, etc. - computer companies could afford to send technically qualified Field Engineers and Sales Engineers around the world and all across America selling and repairing those computers.
Seemingly overnight I saw the sophisticated computer sales market dying and being replaced by telephone sales people who knew some technical terms and words, working on commission.
One company where I worked briefly, CMS Enhancements, had contracts with Seagate, a large disk drive manufacturer, to take one million dollars a month in new disk drives. Pallets of hard drives came in the front door - and had to be moved out the back door to customers - so that CMS could make room to take in the next month's million dollar in drives.
I actually saw them sell pallets of disk drives for less that they paid for them - just to make room to meet their contractual commitment to take the next month's quota. It was crazy. I asked the president, Jim, how his sales people earned commission when the product was sold at a loss.
Commission was based upon a percentage of net profit - with net loss there is no commission. Yet the sales people were pushed to get the product out of the door, regardless of price. And when they did sell for a net profit - it was so small - which meant the sales person's commission was small.
I was in a different division of the company. But my division was indirectly supported by the Volume Sales group - and eventually was closed.
Even though in a number of companies over the years I had been successful, closing a number of million dollar sales - that world suddenly disappeared and was taken over by the net profit/net loss companies - and I had no place to go. I found periods between jobs beginning to grow longer and longer - at times up to a year of unemployment.
During that time I would send out resumes, then follow-up with a phone call, but to no avail. Even though I had researched and found the right persons of authority in those companies - they would not even take my phone calls. Desperation time kept raising its ugly head, but I stayed persistent, even after a year.
Then in one week suddenly I had three companies responding and wanting to talk. I told Dory, "All three companies look good. Regardless of money offered, the first to offer gets me!" And I did find the right company, an Ireland based company with American headquarters in Atlanta - and they wanted to talk with me in person.
I packed enough for a two week stay, for I was determined to close this sale - and I flew to Atlanta. I met with several officers of the company, then sat down with the president who happened to be there from Ireland.
I smiled when he asked, "I know in America we are not supposed to ask this question, but how old are you?" I told him, then he broached the question of the starting base pay I had proposed, saying, "We do not pay the sales people here that much." And I told him, "Georgia is not California."
That day I accepted their job offer to be Regional Sales Manager and thanked God for providing this opportunity after such a long dry spell of unemployment. As it turned out, the other two companies which had expressed interest in me - were not in business a year later.
Yes, God did guide my decision making, even though at the time one of those companies was offering more money, but had not made an offer yet. With His guidance, I chose the right company.
But, what if in despair I had given up before that window of opportunity opened - and ended my life? Did that thought enter my mind? Yes, but what a waste that would have been, and what a burden for my family. Suicide is not the answer. Yes, you will be in His presence, yet with a few questions you must answer when you stand before Him. Do you really want to meet your Savior with your head hung low?
God bless, have a wonderful, blessed day,
Bill
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