PragerU Fireside Chat Number 245 ~ Do People Divorce Too Easily?

The Two Most Debated Subjects Among Christian Believers Are Suicide And Divorce! ~  I have never committed suicide (obviously) or tried to commit suicide - but I have been divorced.  And I have married a divorced woman.

Does that please God?  Of course not, for in His Written Word, the  Bible, He makes it clear that He wants us to have successful and productive marriages and to have beautiful, healthy children.

In the Fireside Chat below, Dennis Prager discusses the subject of divorce - and he did so before with a Protestant Pastor, a Jewish Rabbi, and a Roman Catholic Priest.  Each first quoted his churches' position on divorce - but then the Jewish Rabbi and the Roman Catholic Priest both admitted that their parents had been divorced - and the Protestant Pastor shared that his brother was currently going through a divorce.

While I know that divorce displeases God, I also know from God's Word that He will not discard us into eternal hell for being divorced.  Let me share my story: 

In 1956 I was in the Air Force F-86 Radar/Gunsight Control System Tech School in Denver.  During that time the downtown Denver USO was my second home.  I was there virtually every night to hang out with other Air Force and Army guys, most of us away from home for the first time, and to dance with the pretty girls of Denver.  One of those girls, Betty, became very special to me - and on March 3, 1956, she and I were married.

Now here is he catch:  Betty had been married, had three daughters, and was divorced.  Soon after Betty's marriage, her new husband who had seemed like a wonderful Dr. Jekyll - soon became the not so pleasant Mr. Hyde.  Because she was Roman Catholic, Betty tried to make her marriage work - but Mr. Hyde began to make too many appearances.  So after having three beautiful little girls, Betty had to divorce him.

When I met Betty, the girls were 18 months, 3, and 4 years old - and I instantly fell in love with them.  Anytime someone tried to tell me, "Those are not your girls, they are not your flesh and blood."   And I ask those protestors, "Which is the greater love - one born in the heart - OR - one conceived in bed?"  I loved, and still love, those girls dearly because I chose to, and fell in love with them, in my heart.

At that time I was not a Christian believer, even though I had attended a Baptist church in my home town of Sheffield, Alabama, and I did not want to become a Roman Catholic.  Because of that, it was obvious we could not be married in her church - so we were married by the Justice of the Peace.

After our honeymoon in beautiful Estes Park, Colorado, and when my 30 day leave expired, I was transferred to Osan, Korea, for a year.  Even though I was not Roman Catholic and did not plan to convert (on second thought, I guess it is not converting when one is not yet a believer anyway) - I did want to learn about the Roman Catholic faith. 

Why?  For her sake and for the sake of the girls.  I went to mass with her and, and because she had vowed to raise her daughters Roman Catholic, I wanted to be able to help her teach them.  At the Greyhound Bus Station in Denver, when Betty and her mom had come to see me off on my way to Travis AFB in northern California for transport to Osan, Korea - her mom gave me a Roman Catholic Rosary and a Missal.

When I got to Osan AB, Korea, I went to the Roman Catholic Chaplin, who was a rather skinny, pale man - somewhat older, white hair, pale face - and when he put on the white garment that priest often wear when celebrating Mass - he really looked like a ghost. 

I told him my story and that I did not want to be Roman Catholic, but I wanted the help my wife raise her girls in her faith.  I asked, "Will you give me Catechism lessons."  He told me, in no uncertain terms, "Until you divorce that woman, I will not give you any lessons!"   End of my formal Roman Catholic Catechism lessons and training.  So I resolved to learn on my own and began to attend Mass on Sundays.

At the same time, Betty's experience with the Roman Catholic church was just the opposite.  There was a very laid back and nice young priest named Father Joseph, Father Joe for short.  One day Betty went to the church to talk with Father Joe and found him on the baseball diamond with a bunch of kids. 

When Betty addressed him as Father Joe, he jokingly shushed her and said in a low voice, "Don't give me away, they don't know I am a Priest!"  Of course he was joking, but you can see that he was far different from the Roman Catholic Chaplin I met in Korea.

She told him our story and sincerely asked him what she should do - should we divorce, walk away from our very happy marriage?  What should we do?

Father Joe told her, "Betty, you are already married, and from what I have seen, very happily.  Stay together, raise the girls in the church, and trust God to be merciful toward you both."  Great advise and when I returned from Korea, we did just that.

Is divorce and remarriage a sin?  Yes.  But would being divorced a second time make the first divorce less of a sin?  Does a second sin make the first okay?  We trusted God, felt that we had His mercy, and the girls, now grandmothers, are still Roman Catholic.  I am not, I am a Baptist-flavored Christian believer - but I have often communicated with the girls - and often I have shared Biblical thoughts with them, even though I have never overtly tried to convert them.

Is that the end of our story?  No, unfortunately Betty and I did divorce six years later (my fault entirely), but we remained friends, and I will admit that although we were divorced and in 1977 I married Dory - I never stopped loving Betty. 

In hindsight, that turned out better for Betty also, for the man she later married, Dan, was a very good man, provided well for her and the girls, and stayed with her until her death in 2001.  Yet, over all those years, she and I remained friends and even after we both were married again - we often spoke on the telephone.

Let me share one more memory with you.  Several years after we divorced, Betty and I talked and she told me about Dan and asked if she should marry him.  I told her, "Betty, Dan sounds like a good and very stable man. He is a successful businessman who can provide well for you and the girls. While I have mixed feelings, I sincerely believe he will make you a good husband." 

And looking back over the years I see that I was right.  Yet, they say your first love is one you never forget - and I guess that is true also.

And looking back, I can see where God was working through Dory to bring me to faith in Jesus Christ.  She and I were married in 1977 and for ten years she prayed for me to become a believer.  In 1980, we went to Hawaii for a church wedding, our second wedding.  Through Dory, I eventually met Pastor Sam and Ida Lacanienta in 1987 - and through their Godly love, I did become a believer.

So while I believe Betty and I did the right thing in staying together in spite of objections - and had a love which never died - I believe God had plans for me in the Protestant faith. 

In 1985, before I was a believer, I believe it was God who pointed me toward Creative Writing classes in our local college.  Then in 1987 after I became a believer, I shared an earth worm encounter I had that day at our Bible study - and Pastor Sam told me, "Why don't you put that in writing?"

And I have been doing a Christian Writing Ministry since that eventful day.  Do I believe God intended me to have a Christian Writing ministry?  Yes, I do. I believe He orchestrated it all the way.  Thank you, Lord!

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PragerU Fireside Chat Episode Number 246 - July 14, 2022

DO PEOPLE DIVORCE TOO EASILY?

Have you ever realized that the option of divorce can be GOOD for the health of a marriage? Dennis examines several nuances of this sensitive topic including common arguments against marriage, faith & divorce, and whether a marriage can survive infidelity.

https://www.prageru.com/video/ep-246-do-people-divorce-too-easily

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And as one of my absolute favorite news anchors of the 1960s, Walter Cronkite, always signed off, I will do the same with his signature sign off, "And that's the way it is!"  In the 1960s, when we heard that, we knew we had heard the real news. 

With that, I pray that you found a number of "golden nuggets" in  this latest Fireside Chat from Dennis Prager at PragerU - which stirred deja vu moments in me and caused me to share these intimate moments with you, my Friends.

God bless, have a wonderful, blessed day,

Bill

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