The Lordship vs Free Grace Spitting Contest

The ongoing debate between Calvinism, Arminianism, and Free Grace, predominantly - with a few other theologies which have crept in - has been wearing on my theological nerves!  I have long known and understood what Calvinism and Arminianism teach and have disagreements with both. 

But in the past ten years or so, Free Grace theologian, Bob Wilkin, and his group have jumped into the controversy with both feet.  And I guess what has been most aggravating about the Wilkin, et al, entry into the theology wars - is their constant cannon fire at John MacArthur. 

In those three leading theologies I see at least one doctrine in each which, from a biblical view, I cannot accept.  Yet each theology camp has a lot of doctrinal teachings which are solid and biblical.  With Calvinism I cannot find biblical support for their "Elect / Reprobate based Predestination." 

With Arminianism it is their teaching that a true believer can "Lose His/Her Salvation" over a sin which they are not even aware of committing.  And with Free Grace, it is their "Saving Faith Without Repentance" - while still possibly living a sin-based lifestyle, which I find hard to swallow.

Today if we mention Calvinism one thinks of John MacArthur.  In the Reform branch of Calvinism we find the late R.C.Sproul, John Piper, Ron Rhodes, and Wayne Grudem, among others - but primarily John MacArthur under the Calvinism umbrella.

In the Free Grace camp, the first name in my mind would be Bob Wilkin.  Also a number of others, but for me, primarily Bob Wilkin.

Yet the Arminian camp, for me, is virtually faceless.  Yes there are denominational branches, many Pentecostals, some Methodists, etc. - but overall, virtually faceless.  No one person championing this theology jumps out for me at the mention of Arminianism.

Both Calvinism and Arminianism are easy to tag:  the Calvinist will be marching with a flag boldly proclaiming "Predestination of Elect / Reprobate" - while the Arminians, when you can spot them, are waving a flag which declares, "Watch out!  That little sin may send you to hell!"   And those in the Free Grace camp wave a big flag which declares, "Lordship Theology will sink your ship!"   But what exactly is Lordship Theology?

What has been most aggravating to me about the Free Grace Movement is that, at first I did not understand what they were arguing about - and I truly wanted to get a better understanding of what Free Grace theology teaches.  I sent e-mails and other inquiries asking for a good definition of the Free Grace Movement and what, in their view, is found in Lordship Theology. 

Not once did I ever get a response from those folks who were so loud and vocal in their disagreements with John MacArthur.  I suppose I was thinking: "If they can spend that much effort disagreeing with John MacArthur - why can't they take just a moment and share some insight with Bill Gray?"

In muddling through their mortar fire into the Calvinist camp, I think I have discovered their main sticking point:  While most of the Christian world views "repentance" as an integral component of believing - the Free Grace Movement folks want to stand it alone as a separate action and label it a "work" and in so doing, say that it goes against the teaching found most specifically in Ephesians 2:8-9, "For by grace you have been saved through faith; and this is not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; NOT A RESULT OF WORKS, so that no one may boast."  

They are trying to build a wall around "REPENTANCE" and declare it to be a work.  I can see how Baptism is viewed as a work, for it is a physical thing a new believer does to acknowledge his/her new relationship with Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior.  But Repenting - spiritually believing that the sin nature which Christ died to "pay in full" for us - is not a physical action on our part, not a physical work. 

It is an integral, spiritual component of believing why Christ had to die on the cross - it is as integral to believing, as getting wet is when one jumps into the lake to swim.  One cannot swim without getting wet.  And one cannot believe without acknowledging the sin nature which Christ died on the cross to atone for in our stead.

In defense of my sanity, my theological sanity, I resorted to subscribing to the Free Grace Movement magazine "Grace in Focus."  And I will admit that it has become one of my favorite magazines.  In each issue I just skip over all articles with "John MacArthur" in the title and read the rest of that issue.  That magazine has great articles and shares a lot of solid theological information, insight, and knowledge.  I highly recommend it to all my Friends.  But you might want to follow my lead and stay out of the "What is a John MacArthur" arena.

Thus began my journey through the Free Grace Theology briar patch:

Wikipedia:  Free Grace Theology is a Christian view of salvation (soteriology) that says anyone can, and does, receive eternal life the moment they believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God (John 20:31).  

Bill Gray Note:  So far, so good.

Wikipedia:  Free Grace advocates believe that good works are not the condition to merit (as with Catholics) - maintain (as with Arminians) - or to prove (as with Calvinists) eternal life.  But rather are part of discipleship and the basis for receiving eternal rewards.

Bill Gray Note:  First I have to agree with my Free Grace Friends, Eternal Rewards and Salvation are absolutely two different goals.  A person can receive Salvation while still losing Eternal Rewards in heaven.  But a person CANNOT gain Eternal Rewards in heaven, without first gaining Salvation - the reason a person is promoted to heaven.  In other words, a Saved person can lose Eternal Rewards, but not Salvation.  But for a person to gain Eternal Rewards, that person must first be Saved.

And here I am going to have to assume that, in the Free Grace Movement "Discipleship" is what most theologians refer to as "Sanctification."  In other words, a believer is saved the moment we believe, which we call Justification.  That begins the Sanctification (Discipleship) part of our Christian life where we, hopefully, on a daily basis, become more mature in our knowledge of God's Word and in our daily walk with Him.  When we die or are Raptured, that kicks in the Glorification part of our Christian faith - where we are made to be like Him, Jesus Christ.

1 John 3:2, "Beloved, now we are children of God, and it has not appeared as yet what we will be. We know that when He appears, we will be like Him (in our glorified bodies), because we will see Him just as He is (in His glorified body)."

Wikipedia:  (In the Free Grace Movement) The Grace (gift) of eternal life is said to be free - as the only condition for receiving it (Him) is initial faith.  This view distinguishes between salvation and discipleship – the call to believe in Christ as Savior and to receive the gift of eternal life (is Justification) - and the call to follow Christ and become an obedient disciple, respectively (is Sanctification). 

Bill Gray Note:   For me, the Free Grace folks are playing the name game, i.e., Salvation vs Justification - Discipleship vs Sanctification.  For me this is playing the old "Apples and Oranges" game.

Wikipedia:   The Lordship Salvation controversy (also called Lordship controversy) is a theological dispute regarding a soteriological question (the study of salvation) within Christianity on the relationship between Faith and Works.  This debate has been notably present among some non-denominational and Evangelical churches in North America at least since the 1980s.

The dispute opposes (presents) two soteriological visions: (1) "whether it is necessary to accept Christ as Lord in order to have Him as one's Savior.  The question then becomes: 'If someone accepts Christ as Savior without also explicitly accepting Him as Lord, is such a person truly saved?'." 

That is, whether accepting Jesus Christ as Savior necessarily implies one must make a concrete commitment in life toward Christ such as following a certain behaviour or moral system. 

The first opinion, that of the Lordship Salvation supporters, is, as Arthur W. Pink summarizes:  "No one can receive Christ as His Savior while he rejects Him as Lord. Therefore, those who have not bowed to Christ’s scepter and enthroned Him in their hearts and lives, and yet imagine that they are trusting Him as Savior, are deceived." 

The second opinion (2) is that of those opposing Lordship Salvation:  "That one can accept Jesus Christ as Savior - but does not need to accept Christ's Lordship^."

Bill Gray Note:    What is the difference between saying that Jesus is my "Savior" - and saying that Jesus is my "Lord"?    Jesus is my "Savior" means that MY sins are forgiven.   Jesus is my "Lord" means a change in my lifestyle - which impacts both me and everyone around me, especially my family.

Example 1:  At age 85, I spent a major part of the first half of my life partying, drinking, and satisfying my fleshly, earthly, carnal desires.  But once I became a believer at age 50 - could I still have lived that same lifestyle and truly believed I would enjoy eternal life in Jesus Christ? 

Could I truly have continued to immerse myself in that carnal, secular lifestyle - and still have been a born-again believer?  Think about it!  Could you continue to wallow in mud - and consider yourself clean?  Really?

Example 2:  I have long believed that a gay or lesbian person can be a born-again believer.  BUT, can a person who continues to live in and practice a lifestyle which God Himself has declared to be: an abomination (Leviticus 18:22) -  a detestable act (Leviticus 20:13) - a degrading passion (Romans 1:26) - an unnatural act (Romans 1:26) - an indecent act (Romans 1:27) - contrary to sound teaching (1 Timothy 1:10), unrighteous, those who practice it will not inherit the kingdom of God (1 Corinthians 6:9-10) - really be a born-again believer? 

My question:  "Can a person continue to LIVE a gay lifestyle and be a born again believer?"  And the answer has to be:  NO.  Such a person may, and most likely will, still have those desires - but feeling the desires and LIVING that lifestyle are not the same.

So, to summarize:  Jesus is my "Savior" impacts me alone  -  Jesus is my "Lord’ impacts me and everyone around me.  Can He be my Savior without being my Lord? Both the Bible and I say, emphatically, NO!

Therefore I must side with John MacArthur and the Calvinist, and the faceless Arminians on this issue:  I was saved the moment I received Jesus Christ as both my Lord and my Savior.  And, to the best of my current knowledge, only on this issue do I disagree with my Free Grace brethren. 

I do agree with my Calvinist, Arminian, and Free Grace brethren that we cannot WORK our way into heaven, that we cannot and are not saved by WORKS, but by Faith Alone.  The big question becomes:  "What is a work - and what is an internal spiritual change - and how do we define each?"

Otherwise, I do highly recommend both the "Grace in Focus" magazine - and - also John MacArthur's writings, on all issues except Calvinist Predestination, to all my FRANs (Friends, Relatives, Associates, Neighbors), for I know that both will continue to help both you and me grow more mature in our knowledge of God's Word and in our daily walk with Him.

God bless, have a wonderful, blessed day,

Bill 

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I Have A Dilemma, A Twilight Zone Dilemma ~ Where Was I In 1962?

WHERE WAS I IN 1962?

This is a dilemma I have pondered for a few years, and recently as Dory and I were walking I shared it with her for the first time.  Sounds spooky, doesn't it?  And in a way, it is - for I have never been able to figure it out.

Let me briefly share the dilemma with you - and then I will flesh it out in more detail.  In April 1962 I attended the 20th Reunion of the Doolittle Tokyo Raiders at the Del Mar Beach Club in Santa Monica, California. 

Yet in October 1962 I was in Washington DC/Virginia and deeply affected by the Cuban Missile Crisis.  But I did not move back to or travel to California until after the Cuban Missile Crisis.

However, I recall both events in great detail and have no doubt in my mind that I did attend both events - one in California, the other in Washington DC, in the same year - but at impossible times.

Now for the promised detailed accounts of both events - and then see if you can explain how this happened.

DILEMMA PART 1:

In April 1962 I lived at in an apartment at 15425 Vanowen Blvd, Van Nuys, California, corner unit 3rd floor, and totally by chance I had the honor of attending the 20th Reunion of the Doolittle Tokyo Raiders at the Del Mar Beach Club in Santa Monica. 

I was a young, single, Computer Field Engineer living in Southern California, working for Ramo Wooldridge (later TRW), and making good money.  And what is a young man earning good money, living in Southern California in the early 1960s - the decadent decade - to do but party every night? 

After a while I realized that I could not continue to party and drink seven night a week.  I had to find another outlet for my energy.

I had always thought it would be cool to an actor, and I lived in Southern California - so why not go to acting school?  I found an ad in the newspaper for the Theatre of Arts which was located in the Del Mar Beach Club in Santa Monica.  I called and was told to come to their facility on the second floor of the beach club next Wednesday. 

So on that fateful Wednesday night, April 18, 1962, I went to the Theatre of Arts acting school where I met another young man, Jim Anthony.  Jim was 19 and I was 25 years old.  We met in the lobby and by the time we had walked up the stairs to the second floor, we realized we were there for the same reason and became instant friends. 

But that night there was a note on the door of the acting school telling us, "School closed.  Come down the hall to the right, to the Blue Room."  When we found the Blue Room, we realized that we were not only joining the acting school - but that was the first night of the Doolittle Tokyo Raiders 20th Reunion being held at the Del Mar Beach Club - and we, the acting school, were their guests. 

They had invited the acting school to attend, I suppose to add some color to their celebration.  So the acting school I joined to stop partying and drinking seven nights a week - led me into a four day Tokyo Raiders Reunion party with a free open bar.  Oh well, I decided I could postpone my partying slowdown for one more week. 

At that time, most of Doolittle's Raiders were still alive.  It was exciting to be able to mix with those heroes and hear their personal stories.  Did you realize that all of the planes crashed except one?  The B-25s on this mission had a strict weight limit to enable them to take off from an aircraft carrier, the USS Hornet. They were stripped down and had the gallons of fuel on-board fuel calculated carefully.  One crew chief snuck an extra can of fuel on his plane, which could have killed his crew - but did not. 

They were able to take off, finish the mission, and while all the other planes crashed in China and were saved by the Chinese, a couple of crews were captured by the Japanese - his plane and crew were able to make it back to what they thought was an allied air base, a Russian air base.  The Russians held them as "house guests," i.e., captives for one year - and we never got the plane back.  The crew chief told me this story himself and I have later verified that it is true.
 
That was four nights of partying, great stories, and celebration.  And on Saturday night, at the closing dinner, Bob Hope was the guest speaker and then General Doolittle spoke. 

Bob Hope was a sight for he got caught in the Los Angeles traffic trying to get to Santa Monica that Saturday evening and evidently did not have time to change.  When he was standing on stage at eye level, his pants were inches too short (high water pants) and he had on white socks.   Yet, he was still funny.  And he was doing what he did so well, entertaining our troops.

The man in charge of the reunion that year was a suave, handsome, peppered-haired Colonel from the Pentagon - and the lady who owned the acting school, Madame Valmar Oleska, chased that poor Colonel every night of the reunion.

While I returned to my true vocation, the computer industry - Jim Anthony, who had became my friend during our acting school days, went on to have a successful career as an actor.  To join SAG (Screen Actor's Guild) he later changed his name to Anthony James and appeared as a character actor in just about every western and detective television series that aired in the 1970s and 80s. 

I was living in Huntsville briefly when I first saw Jim in a 1968 episode of the new, to me, western TV show "The Big Valley" where he was a nutty mountain man and killer.  When we turned on the TV that Wednesday evening, the first image I saw was Jim's face - and I thought, "Wow, he made it in television."  Yes, I will admit to a wee vicarious thrill.

The next Saturday evening my girl friend and I went to the movie with bowling friends and, surprise, surprise - there was Jim in the 1967 movie "In The Heat Of The Night" where he was the killer Rod Steiger and Sidney Poitier were chasing.  He retired a few years back and was living in the Boston area doing his thing as an artist, creating art through his paintings.  He died from cancer on May 26, 2020.

There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that I attended the Doolittle Tokyo Raiders 20th Reunion the week of April 18-22, 1962.  And that week in 1962 I met my friend, Jim Anthony, and together we became students at the Theatre of Arts acting school.

DILEMMA PART 2:

Fresh out of the Air Force, in August 1958, I joined Burroughs Corporation as a Computer Systems Technician at their plant in Pasadena (Sierra Madre), California.  A year later, in 1959, I transferred into the company's Field Engineering department and was assigned to help maintain the Burroughs B220 computer system at the Naval Supply Depot in Norfolk, Virginia. 

Later I was transferred to the Burroughs district office in Washington DC - where I became lead Field Engineer on their system at Atlantic Research Corporation in Tysons Corner, Virginia. 

In October 1962, I was the lead Field Engineer on the Burroughs computer system at Atlantic Research Corporation.  In the Air Force I had been an electronic technician maintaining the F-86 jet fighter Weapons Fire Control/Radar Systems.  A friend and fellow Field Engineer, Paul, was my co-worker at Atlantic Research.  He had also been in the Air Force, and together we decided to join the Air Force Reserves just to stay abreast of military electronics.

Paul and I planned to go on Saturday, October 20, 1962, to join the Air Force Reserves.  However the computer system at Atlantic Research developed a problem so we had to work that Saturday.  We agreed that the following Saturday, October 27th, we would visit the Air Force Reserve unit and join.

But Fidel Castro, Cuba's Communist dictator, stepped into our plans.  On Sunday, October 14, the Cuban Missile Crisis burst upon us.  Russia had installed missile sites in Cuba - within easy target range of America.  That led to a 13-day (October 16-28, 1962) confrontation between the United States and the Soviet Union over the apparently offensive missile sites in Cuba.
 
On Monday, October 22, 1962, President Kennedy, because of the Cuban Missile Crisis, announced that the U.S. military forces would go to DEFCON 3 and the Air Force Reserve unit that Paul and I would have joined that previous Saturday - was activated that Monday.  That close call of being reactivated into active military duty convinced me of an old military maxim, "Never volunteer for anything!"
 
DILEMMA CONCLUSION:  Where was I in 1962 - California or Washington DC/Virginia?  And how do I explain that both events are very vivid in my memory, down to minute details?   I had to have been in Southern California, at the Doolittle Tokyo Raiders 20th Reunion, April 18-22, 1962 - and I had to have been at Atlantic Research Corporation in Tysons Corner, Virginia, on Saturday, October 20, 1962.  BUT, HOW? 

I have literally replayed these events over and over in my mind for years - and cannot find an answer.  Did I confuse the year?  Was the Reunion in 1963 instead of 1962?  Was the Cuban Missile Crisis in 1961 instead of 1962?-

As my photo collage below shows, the Doolittle Tokyo Raiders' Reunion was held April 1962 as shown in the Del Mar Beach Club May 1962 issue - with William Bower's Reunion badge also showing April 1962.

And the whole world knows when the Cuban Missile Crisis occurred, October 16-28, 1962 - for the whole world was holding their collective breaths for that 13 days.  If you can explain this dilemma, other than saying I was on a Timothy Leary High in 1962 - PLEASE DO!

God bless, have a wonderful, blessed day,

Bill 

Click on the image to enlarge:

 

Have You Shared A Maranatha Greeting Today?

This morning I was reading the book "The Beginning Of The End" by Dr. Tim LaHaye.  On pages 12 and 13, he tells the story of an old Scottish minister and a local farmer neighbor.  And that brought back a wonderful deja vu memory, a story told to me when I was a new believer many years ago.  That memory emphasized two truths I believe: 

(1) All my life I have loved to walk and on my walks when I pass someone on the street, I smile and say, "Hello, how are you today?"  Two things usually happen, first I almost always get a response and most often a smile in return.  And in all my years of walking, I can count on one hand the times my greeting has been ignored.

And (2), we never know when someone just needs a smile and a hello.  And we never know when a simple, "God bless you" may change that person's life. 

This is Dr. Tim LaHaye's story:

"Maranatha" means "The Lord is coming."  That expression gained popularity in the first century and became a common mode of greeting and parting.  Christians often included it in letters, and in some cases even soldiers used it as a slogan when they went off to war.

The story is told of an old Scottish minister who passed the home of a parishioner on his way to church on Sunday morning.   Obviously the man chopping wood by the side of the house was not going to church.  Their eyes met and the pastor felt he should say something, so he called out, "The Lord is coming" and went on to church. 

About five minutes after he started his message the farmer entered.  After the service he admitted, "Pastor, the more I thought about the Lord is coming, the more I realized I didn't want Him to find me cutting wood during church time."  No wonder John said, "And everyone who has this hope in Him purifies himself, just as He is pure."  (1 John 3:3)    ("The Beginning Of The End," Tim LaHaye, Tyndale House Publishers 1972 - pages 12-13)

Take the story shared by the man God used to bring me into His family.  In 1987 God introduced me to a pastoral couple named Pastor Sam and Ida Lacanienta.  Their Godly love brought me into the church he pastored - and through his teachings in worship services, Sunday School, and Bible study, I became a believer.  It took me six months of good Bible study, but at the age of 50, I became a child of God. 

One story which Pastor Sam shared with our Bible study group was about his early ministry in America.  I believe Pastor Sam and Ida came to America from the Philippines in the early 1970s and his first ministry was as an associate pastor in a small church in Santa Ana, California. 

That church did not have sufficient parking and on Sundays most folks parked in the street.  Just down the block from the church an elderly neighbor did not like cars parked in front of his home and his aggravation often became angry yelling at the people parking for church.

Rather that get angry or bothered by the elderly man's temper, Pastor Sam went to visit him one day during the week.  Pastor Sam is the kind of man who always exudes warmth, friendliness, and love - and that led the elderly man into a friendly neighbor to neighbor chat with Pastor Sam.  I can relate, for that same warmth and love, obviously from God, is what led me to visit the church he was pastoring in 1987 - where I was loved to the cross.

Pastor Sam became friends with the neighbor, they would wave and greet one another during the weeks that followed.  And even though the man did not start attending church services - after a while Pastor Sam did lead him to the Lord. 

A few weeks later, when he did not see the elderly neighbor in his yard as he normally did, Pastor Sam went to visit his home.  At the man's home Pastor Sam was told that about a week ago the man had passed away.  But we know that the moment he breathed his last mortal breath - that neighbor was in the presence of God.

That happened because Pastor Sam Lacanienta took the time to greet a disgruntled neighbor, share God's love with him, and tell him how much God loves him.  In other words, Pastor Sam told him, "Maranatha, the Lord is coming!" 

That is the deja vu story I relived this morning reading about Tim LaHaye's old Scottish minister's Maranatha greeting to his neighbor. 

Have YOU shared a Maranatha greeting with anyone today? 

God bless, have a wonderful, blessed Marantha day,

Bill

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Who Is The Great Shepherd, Who Are The Sheep, And Why KJV Bible Only?

While I realize that some will view posts such as this as being argumentative.  I view it as a learning exercise, much like Discussion/Conversational Bible Studies.  We learn very little when we just sit and listen.  We learn when we participate in discussions, allowing different participants to offer their thoughts and then discussing those thoughts to see if they are valid, based upon Scripture.   

That is why I will never call myself a Bible study "teacher."    My goal is always to be a Bible study "leader" - one who opens the discussion, hears, considers, and discusses thoughts from others, eventually leading the group discussion back to our only true authority, the Bible.

With that in mind, this is one of my recent discussions on Facebook:

A FRIEND AND CHRISTIAN BROTHER IN AFRICA POSTED:   "We are not the Sheep ~ Jesus Christ is not our shepherd  ~  Our blessings are spiritual in Christ Jesus  ~ We are not looking forward to the Messianic Kingdom."

I RESPOND: My brother, you tell us, "We are not the Sheep. Jesus Christ is not our shepherd."  The Bible clearly tells us that the metaphor "sheep" refers to all believers worldwide, Jews and Gentiles.  At the time of His earthly teaching, He came to those who should have been His "sheep" - Israel - and to seek and heal His "other sheep" - we Gentiles.  We Gentiles are the branches grafted into the True Vine, Jesus Christ (John 15:1ff).  In John 10:24-29 Jesus is clearly referring to all believers, i.e., His sheep. 

And in Matthew 25:31-46 we see the post-Tribulation Sheep & Goat Judgment of the mortal survivors of the 7-year Tribulation.  The Sheep are the believers who survive the Tribulation, the Goats are the non-believers who survive.  The Sheep go into His 1000 year Millennial Kingdom, i.e., the Messianic Kingdom, in their mortal bodies.  The Goats, i.e., non-believers, go into Hades/Torment (Luke 16:19-31) to await the Great White Judgment of all non-believers.

HE TELLS ME:  "As a Dispensationalist, King James Bible believer (KJV Only), and Pauline rightly dividing the Word of Truth (believer) - I don't believe that salvation has been by Grace through faith in Christ."

I RESPOND:  On Dispensationalism we agree.  Although I have to ask, "How can you be a Dispensationalist believer, i.e., PreTrib Rapture, PreMillennial Second Coming of Christ, and not believe in His 1000 year Millennial Kingdom, aka, His Messianic Kingdom?"

On your KJV Only position, I have one question: WHY? 

There are two editions of the King James Bible - the King James 1611 and the King James 1769.  Which one do the KJV ONLY folks call the only Bible, the 1611 or the 1769?   There were a number of English language Bible translations before the King James 1611 (see chart below) - and there are good English translations since 1611.  So why do you feel that that King James is the only Bible translations we should be reading?  The graphic posted below shows the English Bible Timeline.

Do you really believe that God looked down, chose ONLY the King James Bible to be His Holy Word - and wants us to trash all the other translations?  Really?  In your view, is God really that limited?

My Friend, our God is big enough to have chosen 40 men, over a period of 1600 year, in various locations - to write His Bible.  And they had a unified message - offering salvation to mankind.  Our God was big enough to assure that scribes and copyists over the millennia were copying His Word accurately - and our God is still big enough today to assure that our NASB, NKJV,  and other English language translations properly reflect His Word and His message of salvation.  You should not limit God to only one translation.

In your vision of God, after the inspired Wycliffe, Tyndale, Coverdale, Matthew, Great Bible, Geneva, Bishops translations, all English translations, did God suddenly decide that all those English translations before 1611 were invalid and only the King James English translation is valid?  Where do you find that in Scripture?  If the Christian church should be using ONLY the King James Bible, who made that decision?  Was it man or God?  If God, where is it written?

God inspired those 40 men, over a period of 1600 years, living in various geographical locations - to write His unified message of salvation for mankind.  Did the same God who guided the hands of those 40 writers, then the Scribes and Copyists over the millennia, to copy His literal, inspired, inerrant Written Word - suddenly stop inspiring man to translate His message of salvation to mankind?  Starting with Wycliffe Bible, did God invalidate them all, declare them all uninspired, and bless only the King James Bible?  Really?

HE TELLS ME:  I am a, "Pauline rightly dividing the Word of Truth" believer." 

I RESPOND:  I am not quite sure I understand your position on the apostle Paul's writings.  I know there are people who feel that we should discard the Gospel books and the writings of other apostles and use only Paul's writings as our New Testament.  To them the message to the church, i.e., Christian believers, begins in Acts 9 when Paul met Jesus on the road to Damascus and believed.  To them Acts 1-8 is written to the Jews only and still falls under the Law.  Paul's conversion in Acts 9 began His message to the church.

My Friend, knowing that you are a sincere Christian brother, I am assuming that is not your position, and that you are referring to Paul's writing in 2 Timothy 2:15 (nkjv), "Be diligent to present yourself approved to God, a worker who does not need to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth."    And I would agree that is very good advise. 

The book 2 Timothy was the last of Paul's prison epistles and was written to Timothy, whom Paul had left in Ephesus to minister to and teach the church in that city.  Paul was encouraging Timothy to be a diligent worker in the ministry, teaching the Word of God as Paul had taught him.  This teaching, like most in the Bible, even though written to encourage a specific person, in this case Timothy, also is a teaching of encouragement to all believers.

But it leads me back to my previous paragraphs discussing your KJV ONLY position on the Bible.  And I have to ask, "Are you rightly dividing the Word of God when you declare that the King James Bible is the ONLY valid English language Word of God?"  Once again, I must ask, "On whose authority are you making that declaration - man's or God's?  If by God's authority, where do you find it in the Bible?"

HE TELLS ME:  "I don't believe that salvation has been by Grace through faith in Christ." 

I RESPOND:  Yet in Ephesians 2:8-9 (nasb) we read, "For by grace you have been saved through faith; and this is not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not a result of works, so that no one may boast."

And in Ephesians 1:13, 4:30 (nasb) we read, "In Him, you also, after listening to the message of truth, the Gospel of your salvation - having also believed, you were sealed in Him with the Holy Spirit of the promise,  .  . . Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption."   Our "day of redemption" is the day we die in this mortal body, or when we are raptured from this mortal body.

How do your reconcile your statement above based upon those Scripture passages?

At this point in our discussion, looking back at his statement above, "We are not the Sheep ~ Jesus Christ is not our shepherd" -  I suggested a blog from the Got Questions web site titled:  "Who Are The 'Other Sheep' Mentioned In John 10:16?"

HE TELLS ME:  "Bill Gray, Got Questions is not a Dispensational Biblical teaching perspective website.  The founder is not a Pauline Dispensational right divider and King James Bible believer.  He is one of the Replacement Theologians.  Kindly follow apostle Paul and embrace right division of the Word of Truth using Dispensational Biblical teaching perspective.  Stay here and learn."

I RESPOND:  Not sure where you got your information regarding the Got Questions web site or its founder.  You say that Got Questions is not Dispensational and teaches Replacement Theology.

In researching the Got Questions web site I found the information below.  I see absolutely nothing which would indicate that Michael Houdmann, founder of the Got Questions web site, is not Dispensational - nor that he believes or teaches Replacement Theology, that the church has replaced Israel as the chosen people of God.

Another key and very important thought:  Michael Houdmann is not the sole writer on the Got Questions web site.  That site has hundreds of contributors who answer questions and give insight.  I understand that Michael Houdmann does favor Reform/Calvinist theology - but that does not mean that this sways or drives what is written in Got Questions - for, as I mentioned, there are many contributors to that site.

Personally I do not believe in Calvinist Predestination, in Arminian Loss of Salvation, nor in Free Grace Rejection of Repentance.  But we must keep in mind that folks in those camps who believe and truly teach the Essential Christian Doctrines - are just as saved as you and me.  We will all be in heaven together.  Then we will all know the full Truth. 

I do not believe in Calvinism, Arminianism, nor Free Grace - but I have many brethren in those camps who otherwise offer solid teachings.  You and I can learn much from them - as long as we stay away from Predestination, Loss of Salvation, and Salvation without Repentance.  I would be interested in knowing where you got your information about the Got Questions web site and its founder, so that I can study it.

The information below is what I have found which answer your questions and objections to that web site.  These excerpts come directly from the God Questions web site.  I pray you find this information helpful.  God bless, Bill

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DISPENSATIONAL THEOLOGY teaches that there are two distinct peoples of God: Israel and the Church.  Dispensationalists believe that salvation has always been by grace through faith alone - in God in the Old Testament and specifically in God the Son in the New Testament.  Dispensationalists hold that the Church has NOT replaced Israel in God’s program - and that the Old Testament promises to Israel have NOT been transferred to the Church.

What is dispensationalism and is it biblical?
https://www.gotquestions.org/dispensationalism.html

You might want to also read the Got Questions Statement of Faith.

Got Questions Ministries Statement of Faith
https://www.gotquestions.org/faith.html

WHO IS S. MICHAEL HOUDMANN:  He is the Founder, President, and CEO of Got Questions Ministries, the parent ministry for the Got Questions web site.  We rarely receive questions about S. Michael Houdmann, and that is a good thing.  He does not want Got Questions to be about him.  He does not want people to accept or reject the answers given at Got Questions because of name recognition.  Rather, his hope is that people will accept or reject Got Questions answers because they have read them, compared them with the Word of God, and prayed about them – and determined them to be true and biblical.

Prior to launching Got Questions, Michael Houdmann earned a Bachelors of Arts in Biblical Studies from Calvary University and a Masters of Arts in Christian Theology from Calvary Theological Seminary.  He later earned a Master of Theology with an emphasis in Christian Apologetics from Dallas Theological Seminary.

https://www.gotquestions.org/S-Michael-Houdmann.html

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FROM THE GOT QUESTIONS WEB SITE:  "What Is Going to Happen According to End Times Prophecy?"

Bill Gray Note:  The following blog excerpt is a perfect description of the PreTrib Rapture and the PreMillennial Second Coming of Christ, which is where I also stand.  This is from the Got Questions web site.

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The Bible has a lot to say about the end times.  Nearly every book of the Bible contains prophecy regarding the end times.  Taking all of these prophecies and organizing them can be difficult.  Following is a very brief summary of what the Bible declares will happen in the end times.

Christ will remove all born-again believers from the earth in an event known as the rapture (1 Thessalonians 4:13-18; 1 Corinthians 15:51-54).  At the judgment seat of Christ, these believers will be rewarded for good works and faithful service during their time on earth or will lose rewards, but not eternal life, for lack of service and obedience (1 Corinthians 3:11-15; 2 Corinthians 5:10).

The Antichrist (the beast) will come into power and will sign a covenant with Israel for seven years (Daniel 9:27).  This seven-year period of time is known as the “tribulation.”  During the tribulation, there will be terrible wars, famines, plagues, and natural disasters.  God will be pouring out His wrath against sin, evil, and wickedness.  The tribulation will include the appearance of the four horsemen of the Apocalypse, and the seven seal, trumpet, and bowl judgments.

About halfway through the seven years, the Antichrist will break the peace covenant with Israel and make war against it.  The Antichrist will commit “the abomination of desolation” and set up an image of himself to be worshiped in the Jerusalem temple (Daniel 9:27; 2 Thessalonians 2:3-10), which will have been rebuilt.  The second half of the tribulation is known as “the great tribulation” (Revelation 7:14) and “the time of Jacob’s trouble” (Jeremiah 30:7).

At the end of the seven-year tribulation, the Antichrist will launch a final attack on Jerusalem, culminating in the battle of Armageddon.  Jesus Christ will return, destroy the Antichrist and his armies, and cast them into the lake of fire (Revelation 19:11-21).  Christ will then bind Satan in the Abyss for 1,000 years and He will rule His earthly kingdom for this thousand-year period (Revelation 20:1-6).

At the end of the thousand years, Satan will be released, defeated again, and then cast into the lake of fire (Revelation 20:7-10) for eternity.  Christ then judges all unbelievers (Revelation 20:10-15) at the great white throne judgment, casting them all into the lake of fire.  Christ will then usher in a new heaven and new earth and the New Jerusalem - the eternal dwelling place of believers.  There will be no more sin, sorrow, or death (Revelation 21–22).

What Is Going to Happen According to End Times Prophecy?
https://www.gotquestions.org/end-times.html

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I pray you have found this discussion helpful, either in full or in "golden nuggets" mined while scanning this blog.  We do not want to appear argumentative when sharing the Gospel with others - and I have found that the best way to avoid that is to well equipped with answers to the many tough questions the world will throw at us. 

During my 35 years in computer sales and marketing, I won a number of major contracts by being armed with knowledge of my products and what the market was offering - so that a prospective client did not get hung up on one question causing my presentations to come to a screeching halt. 

In the same way, when we share the Word of God, the Gospel, with the world - the more knowledge we have of our product, eternal life in Christ taught in the Bible, the more effective we will be in bringing that person or those persons to faith in Christ. 

As my Friend and Christian brother in Africa tells us, reminding us of Paul's admonition to Timothy, "Let us rightly divide the Word of God - and be armed through daily study of His Word" - so that when the world raises objections, we have the Truth to counter those objections.

God bless, have a wonderful, blessed day,

Bill

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Keep Your "I" Out Of My "Eye"! ~ Revisited Once Again In 2022

We all have those "gotcha!" words or phrases which cause us to cringe when we hear or read them.  My "Arghhhh!" moment is when I hear a speaker (which happens more often than in writing) misusing the "I" and "me" pronouns. 

You would be surprised how often we hear it.  And very often from well educated speakers.  I first shared my angst over this "Arghhhh!" moment in 2007, in 2010, in 2014,  and in 2018.  And it seems that in 2022 is an appropriate time for another revisit of that blog.

Not sure if it is because our public schools are becoming more and more Indoctrination Centers instead of Educational Centers.  When I went to school, back in the Prehistoric Days of the 1950s, our concentration was on Reading, Riting, and Rithmetic.  There was even a song which immortalized our Education System back then:

School days, school days
Dear old golden rule days
Readin' and 'ritin' and 'rithmetic
Taught to the tune of the hickory stick!

Today I am afraid those words would most likely be:

School days, school days
Dear old golden rule days
Racism and Riotin' and What gender are you?
Taught to the tune of the Progressive, Socialist teacher, too!

This is my blog from 2018 and folks, more and more, are sticking their "I" in my "Eye": 

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Let me share with you a writing I did back in 2007, 2010, and 2014.  "Why," you ask?  Because it seems that no one listened to me then.  It is amazing how many speakers I hear, and writers I read - who should know better, yet do not seem to know when to use the pronouns "I" and "me."   Matter of fact, it seems that today I see and hear those pronouns confused more often now than I did back in 2007.

So, since I read a lot (books, magazines, e-mail, Facebook, etc.) of writing from other folks, to help you keep your "I" out of my "eye" - let me offer this wee bit of grammar advise, just once more:

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IS YOUR AUDIENCE AN "Arghhhh!" AUDIENCE, OR AN "Ahhhh!" AUDIENCE?
By Bill Gray, Date:  Fri, 02 Feb 2007

In the mid-1960s, I had a friend who worked as a secretary at Boeing in Seattle.  It drove her totally nuts when she heard a person use the non-word "irregardless."  Pulling her hair, she would tell me, "There is no such word as IRREGARDLESS!  The word is REGARDLESS, irregardless of what a person thinks!"

I have the same hair pulling urge when I hear a person use the wrong pronoun "I" when that person should be using "me."  You would be amazed at how often I have heard otherwise highly intelligent, highly educated people - in the pulpit, on radio, on television, in person, (now on Facebook) - doing this.

Yesterday, to my amazement, I heard one of my favorite Bible teachers, Dr. Chuck Missler, commit this "fingernail scraping on the blackboard" offense twice in one sentence.  As my role model, Charlie Brown, would say, "Arghhhh!"

I cannot tell you exactly what Dr. Missler was teaching, for the distraction over his "I" was total.  However, he said something like, "That is totally foreign to you and I.  Scripture tells us that this is not right for you and I."

"Arghhhh!"

Now, most likely, many people will not even notice this mistake, nor even care.  But, for a person who enjoys writing, a person who enjoys using words to paint ideas and thoughts - that is analogous to an artist using bright red paint when the scene being painted calls for a pastel blue or yellow.  I know, I know.  Some Friends will ask, "So, what difference does this make?" 

And to those Friends, it makes no difference.  However, when a speaker is working hard to reach "everyone" in his/her audience, the difference can be a lost or broken train of thought for some, if not many, in that audience - as happened to me yesterday while listening to Dr. Missler teach.

Especially when the error is so easy to avoid.  "Pray tell, Bill, how do I avoid this horrendous mistake which so grates upon your ears?" 

I'm glad you asked.

This mistake happens most frequently when a writer or speaker is using a compound sentence.  A compound sentence is one which is composed of two or more main clauses but no subordinate clauses. 

"Bill, Bill, speak English, please!"

Okay, a main clause if one which has a subject and a verb, and can stand alone, i.e., "That is totally foreign to you" and "That is totally foreign to me."   And that is how you may test the sentence to see if you are using the correct pronouns.

When we break Dr. Missler's compound sentence, "That is totally foreign to you and I" down into its two main clauses, we get, "That is totally foreign to you" and "That is totally foreign to I."    Would you say, "That is totally foreign to I"?  No!  You would say, "That is totally foreign to ME."

By the same token, Dr. Missler's sentence, "Scripture tells us that this is not right for you and I" - when broken down into two main clauses will read, "Scripture tells us that is not right for you" and "Scripture tells us that is not right for I."   How long will it take your audience to get a glazed, void look on their faces when you use sentences such as, "Scripture tells us that is not right for I"?

No, no, no!   It only sound right when you say, "Scripture tells us that is not right for ME."

In the future, so that there will be no glassy eyed people in your audience; so that there will be no one sitting in your audience screaming, "Arghhhh!" - please break the sentence apart in your mind to test it, before you allow it to escape from your mouth.  Then, we can all sit back and listen to you speak, with a smile, and a soothing, "Ahhhh!"

Just a thought.  Share this with your Friends, Relatives, Associates, and Neighbors - all your FRANs.  That way, possibly we will see far fewer people sitting in audiences with large patches of hair missing.  Those are the "Arghhhh!" people.  And we will experience far more smiling, hair in place, "Ahhhh!" people in the audiences.

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God bless, have a wonderful, blessed day,

Bill

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The Trinity - Biblical, From The Roman Catholic Church, Or Not True?

The Trinity - Biblical, From The Roman Catholic Church, Or Not True?  ~  I have been having an interesting online dialogue with a Friend whose church and theology denies the Trinity, claiming it originated from the Roman Catholic Church.  True or false?

Well, if we are going to believe the Bible as the Inspired, Inerrant, Literal, Written Word of God - then the non-Trinity, Roman Catholicism originated, teaching has to be false.  If anyone believes and teaches that the Bible is wrong, or in error when teaching about the Trinity - their teaching has to be false.

So which do YOU believe?  Does the Trinity, the Triune God ~ Father, Son, Holy Spirit really exist and are we, all believers, indwelled by the Holy Spirit - or is that also false?

Personally I will always go with what God teaches in His Bible.  Starting in Genesis, the Bible teaches the Trinity, that God the Father (1st Person) resides in the third heaven (2 Corinthians 12:2-4).

That God the Son, Jesus Christ (2nd Person) came to earth as the Incarnate God as our propitiation by which all who will believe are saved eternally, but who now resides in heaven in his immortal body and will come again to begin His 1000 year Millennial Kingdom on earth. 

And that God the Holy Spirit (3rd Person) is active in all the world today and is residing in every believer, to guide us, teach us, and convict us.

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MY NON-TRINITY FRIEND POSTED:  You picked up on the Trinity doctrine which is Roman Catholic, so even though your church may have broken away from Roman Catholicism, she's still your mama!  Call yourself what you will, but you've taken the poison of Trinitarianism to your bosom! 

You're Catholic any way you slice it.  Until you leave their doctrine, you're still their boy!  The Trinity is not a Christian teaching!  Jesus never taught it!  Rome still teaches it to this day!

AND I RESPOND:  My Friend, not sure how you, or whomever indoctrinated you into the Oneness fallacy, came to connect belief in the Trinity with Roman Catholicism - but you both are really off base by a mile.  For Constantine was Roman emperor from AD 306 to 337 - and it was through him that the Church of Rome, aka, Roman Catholic church, had its birth.

Am I catholic?  Yes, for catholic just means universal.  And the Christian faith is a universal faith for all who will believe and receive Christ as Lord and Savior (John 1:12).

So I am catholic, but I am not Roman Catholic.  Because of a lady very important to me when I was much younger, I did attend the Roman Catholic Church for years and I took Catechism lessons - primarily to help her raise her children Roman Catholic, which she had taken a vow to do. 

I wanted to know all about the Roman Catholic Church for their sake - but while I attended, I never joined nor became a Roman Catholic. 

On the other hand, I believe those years spent studying Roman Catholicism was beneficial - for now I can assure folks like you who are caught up in false teachings - that you are wrong about the Trinity originating in the Vatican.

The Trinity was taught by the apostles, the disciples, and the books which became our Bible, long before in the 1st century, even as far back as Genesis, in the beginning.  I have attached a graphic below showing Biblical proof of what I have written. 

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I pray that all my Christian brethren see that it is not just the atheists, agnostics, and non-believers who need to hear the Word of God.  When it comes to those non-believers - we have a built-in shield or a red-flag alert which goes up when dealing with their theology or lack of theology.

But when we are dealing with folks who wear a Christian hat, yet are from a church which is a cult church or a church which has strayed so far from the faith that it is hard to honestly call them Christian churches - those can be dangerous.

My personal feeling is that it is those who are in false churches such as the Oneness Pentecostal (not to be confused with the Trinitarian Pentecostals who are our brethren) and other groups which deny the Trinity and other Essential Christian Doctrines that comprise our faith - who really need our Gospel evangelism. 

For to the degree which those groups or churches deny the essential tenets of the Christian faith - to that extent they have left the Christian church founded by God Himself.  And they have become a greater danger to new believers as well as the almost believers we tend to target with our evangelism, than the atheists and agnostics.

Leaving the new believer or almost believer to the mercy of false theology churches - is rather like leaving your children alone at home, prey to any person or accident which could harm them - while you go out to evangelize the world.  First protect your children, those new believers and almost believers who can fall prey to false teachings and cult teachings - THEN, go out to save the world.

Years ago, a missionary couple, Steve and Leslie, who came home for a rest and rebuilding trip from the Philippines, spoke at our church.  And he gave a very true and astute perspective on the Great Commission.

Matthew 28:18-20, Acts 1:8, "And Jesus came up and spoke to them, saying, 'All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to Me.  Go, therefore, and Make Disciples of all the nations, Baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, Teaching them to follow all that I commanded you; and behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.  But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you shall be My witnesses both in Jerusalem and in all Judea, and Samaria, and as far as the remotest part of the earth.' "

I often shorten that to:  "Go, Make Disciples, Baptize Them, Teach Them .  .  .  in Jerusalem, Judea, Samaria, and to the remotest part of the earth."

The new perspective which Steve gave us was that "our Jerusalem" starts with our immediate family - then it should spread out to our community, our city, our state, our country, and to all the world.  That is a teaching I concur with completely, especially for our children.

Let me leave you with this last thought.  Over the years as I have led Bible studies and Sunday School classes, I have developed three short videos which I have found useful.  The videos are designed so that you can stop them on individual frames for reading or for having discussions on the separate bullets.  I pray that you find them useful and informative.  The graphic below was created from pages taken from one of the videos.

Let's Talk About Doctrine
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL_YT3RttutrgRQ3-QWCccDAeXpAV-p6bJ

God bless, have a wonderful, blessed day,

Bill Gray

Click on the image to enlarge: 

 

Ghost Of The Past - Still With Me At Times

Some years ago, I shared with a pastor Friend what I have decided to call my "Ghost Of The Past - Still With Me" feelings even after all those years.  Maybe some of my Friends and brethren have had similar experiences in years past - and may still find them coming to the surface at times. 

If not, you are blessed and I pray that you will still find my story worth reading.  Below is the note I wrote to my pastor Friend back then - and today I would like to share it, anonymously, with all my Friends.

No, I have not committed any big crimes nor done any mysterious thing which has been hidden all these years.  It is just memories from the childhood of a young boy growing up - which have stayed with me for a major part of my adult life, and did, for better or worse, influence life choices which I may have handled in another way under different circumstances.

Note To My Pastor Friend  ~  Since I am sure that you have noticed that I have not been coming to the Friday Night Prayer Meetings - as my pastor, my Christian brother and friend, I feel that you deserve to know why.  This has nothing to do with our church fellowship, nor does it mean that I do not believe in prayer.  I love my fellowship with our Christian brethren. 

And I believe strongly in prayer, our need for prayer, and God's answers to our prayers. My strong belief in prayer is based upon what I have personally experienced in my own life through prayer - and what I have seen happen in the lives of others through prayer.

Several times in our worship services and in our study discussions I have shared how God has personally answered prayers in my life - for healing, for sustenance, and for comfort and strength - for myself and for others.  Yes, I believe very much in prayer, personal and intercessory - and that is why years ago I began an Intercessory Prayer Chain and why I share prayer needs in my online writing ministry.
 
But as brother Danny has noticed over the past several years, I am not comfortable at group prayer meetings.  Danny has gone out of his way to accommodate me in that discomfort at many of our prayer meetings.  This discomfort is not unique to our fellowship, it is something which has followed me throughout my years as a Christian believer in different churches.   For Bible studies or Sunday School classes, I am the first one there.  But I have long been reluctant to attend group prayer meetings.

So let me try to explain.  When I was about 10 years old my mom wanted my brother, Bob, and me to attend church.  She would not attend because she could not read nor write and she was afraid that might put her in an awkward and embarrassing situation if she attended regularly.   But she wanted her boys to attend church - so she sent us to the closest church in our neighborhood, which happened to be Nazarene church. 

Bob and I went to Sunday School there for a couple of years and then followed our friends to the Baptist church.  My brother, being 3 years older, got more involved than me, but I did attend with my friends.

One Wednesday evening when I was 12 years old my mom and step-dad were going to attend a Revival Meeting at the Nazarene church.  Mom could attend midweek meetings such as that for she could just sit in the back and blend in with other folks.  And knowing how much it meant to her, when she asked me to attend with her - I could not refuse.  At the meeting, for some reason I was not sitting with my mom and step-dad, but was sitting on the other side of the church.  Not sure why.

Then the Revival Meeting started and the traveling Revival Preacher began to get up steam, raising his voice, foot stomping - he would have made TD Jakes proud the way he got wound up and shouted at us.  About half way through the meeting, the Revival Preacher told everyone to stand up.  Then he said, "Everyone who is saved, sit down."

I did not sit down for two reasons.  First, I did not know what it meant to be saved.  And second, even though I was sure I was not saved - I was not going to sit down and pretend, for that would be lying.  So there I stood while everyone around me sat down.  Then the Revival Preacher said, "Just keep standing there until you come forward and be saved."

What was I to do?  I was sure I was not saved, so I could not lie and sit down.  But I did not want to go forward.  Yet what could I do but go forward?  If that had happened to me as the unsaved adult I used to be, I would have given that Revival Preacher a one-finger salute and walked out.  But as a confused 12 year old boy - that was not an option.

So I reluctantly went forward - and the Revival Preacher and several Elders of the church laid hands on me and began praying all at once, "hallelujahing" and getting all worked up.  And I will admit that I started feeling all pumped up also.  I guess you could say that I felt like, "Hallelujah, I am saved - whatever that means!"

No one, not that Revival Preacher, nor the local Pastor, nor any of the Elders, nor anyone else - took the time to talk with me and see if I even knew what it meant to go forward, to be saved, or anything else about what happened that night.  Nothing, nada, zip! 

I guess the only thing the Revival Preacher did that night was to add another number in his "Saved Register" - so that he could add that to his resume and tell folks how many souls he had saved during his most recent Revival meetings.

I will admit that I went home rather pumped up that night.  Hey, I was saved.  Whatever that meant!   That evening, as a 12 year old boy laying in bed, I had some rather carnal thoughts about some of the girls at my school whom I found attractive - and that hit me like a ton of bricks.  Here I had just been saved that night.  And even if I did not know what it meant - I was sure it meant that I should not be having those kind of thoughts.  Then came the self-loathing and revulsion.  How could I be saved and just a few hours later have thoughts like that?

That evening my self-respect went down the toilet.  Here I was, a person who had just been saved - and I was thinking those kind of thoughts.  From that night forward and for many years following - my only self-survival solution was to avoid churches, preachers, and anything to do with them.  Even the word "preacher" provoked a negative feeling.  And in many ways, it still does. 

Today, most often unconsciously, I will call you pastor, teacher, elder, or just brother - but never will I call you or anyone else "preacher" - nor will I refer to a sermon as "preaching."  I will say sermon, teaching, message - but never preaching.

In other words, that evening I began running away from God - and even though I did, later in life, attend many different churches, testing the water, I could not really get involved.  For I knew that if I continued to live my carnal life, I was doomed to hell.  I knew that much about being saved or not being saved.

As a young man in the Air Force my "ghost of the past" problem once again raised its head.  During a week I was in the base hospital, a friend and I began to read the pocket New Testament the Air Force used to provide us.  We did not really understand what we were reading, but for some reason we both felt that we should be baptized. 

We went to the hospital chaplain, a Methodist, and asked to be baptized.  He took us into his office, did not ask us if we understood what it meant to be saved, if we were attending services, or even why we asked to be baptized.  He just sprinkled water on our heads, shook our hands, and told us to have a good day as he ushered us out of his office.  "Gee, I have been baptized - am I saved now?"  That chaplain wasn't concerned one way or the other.  He probably had a golf date that afternoon.

Still confused, I decided to find a church which would tell me there is no hell.  And yes, I did find one.  In the Air Force I found another chaplain, a Presbyterian, who absolutely assured me that hell is only a myth, it does not exist.  Praise the Lord!  Now I could party-hearty all I wanted, go to church occasionally on Sunday - and not have to worry about hell.

Fast forward a few years, I met a lovely Hispanic computer programmer who worked with me at Ramo-Wooldridge (later TRW).  We began dating and after a while we became serious.  Since she was Roman Catholic I started taking Catechism lessons with her at the Our Lady of the Valley church in Canoga Park. 

Confused about my saved and baptized status, I asked the priest if I would need to be baptized again since I was baptized, by sprinkling, by the Methodist chaplain in the Air Force.  And his reply, his exact words, were, "It all depends upon which way the water rolled off your head."  Honest, those were his exact words.

But, praise the Lord, God had a solution for my problem.  At the age of 40, in 1977, God brought my wife, Dory, into my life.  And with her praying for me for 10 years - at the age of 50 God brought Pastor Sam and Ida Lacanienta into my life. 

Pastor Sam was the opposite of that Revival preacher of my youth.  He spoke softly, personally and in his sermons - and he got me involved in a Family Bible Study where he gave me the NASB Study Bible I still use today.  And through discussing Scripture in our Bible Studies, he led me gently to the Lord.  At first I still clung to some of my worldly ways, but through attending our Family Bible Studies for six months - in the year 1987, I was ready to join the family of God.

Still, even today, when someone tells me, "Kneel and pray!" - that Ghost Child of the past awakens and subconsciously I feel a need to run.  For seven years after becoming a believer, I could not pray aloud in church, Sunday School, or Bible study.  Finally I was able to overcome that feeling, yet even at times today when a worship service starts feeling too Pentecostal - I find myself having to step out and get some fresh air.

Over the years Dory has often told me, "That happened when you were just a young 12 year old boy.  Forget about it, put it out of your mind, let it go!"

And I have always responded to her, "If you had been raped at the age of 12 - could you completely put it out of your mind?  Can you honestly say that being raped as a young girl would not still affect you as an adult woman?"   No, something that traumatic stays with a person.

What happened to me as a 12 year old boy, I compare to being "spiritually raped" - and it can often be just as devastating as a "physical rape."   Yes, we can suppress the feelings, we can push them down into our inner recesses.  But at times those feelings do surface - often when some action reminds us of what happened.  We learn to live with it and we develop coping methods to avoid the feelings.  But we cannot say those feelings will never surface at times.

Yet Pastor, I do have one very fond memory from this story.  If you recall Pastor Jesse from the morning church occasionally would come to our services or just join us afterwards for fellowship.  I vividly recall one Sunday he and I had a long talk after our service, and I am not sure how the subject of that Revival Preacher came up - but I shared the story with Pastor Jesse.  He got very upset that a Christian pastor would do that to a young boy. 

The reason I remember that conversation so well is that the next day, Monday, is when he had a fatal stroke which took his life.  I feel so honored to have had that time for a personal talk with him on that last Sunday.

Pastor, Dory and I are very blessed to be a part of the our fellowship and love what is happening in and with our people.  I pray this gives you a better understanding of why I sometimes walk away or take a slightly different path.  Please feel free to share this with anyone you feel would have an interest or be, in any way edified, from reading it.

God bless, have a wonderful, blessed day,

Bill 

Click on the image to enlarge: